Friday, September 12, 2008

Can you really stay friends after a bad breakup?

I know most of you are saying NO but…in reality its possible…

It all just deals with the type of person you are, how long the two of you were together for, the reason for the breakup, and of course (the biggie), how mad you are at the other person. For instance, if you’re a pretty mellow, laid-back person that just goes with the fl…ow, then the majority of the time you’ll be able to stay friends with your exes, as you probably already are and don’t even realize it.

On the other hand, if you’re a person who hangs on to the past like clinging to a thin piece of thread over a endless black pit of doom, and you take your life entirely too seriously, then you most likely have your exes on a hit-list. My advice to these people is to stop taking life too seriously; it’s for your own good. It’ll help your stability, mood, outlook, and all in all, your all-around mental health. As far as the whole “how long the relationship lasted thing”, if you were together for a long period of time (such as about two years), then the both of you probably have really deep-seeded grudges against each other, mostly because there were feelings involved and the reason you broke up is really messed up. But if you were only together for a few months (short term), then you really weren’t together long enough for hardcore feelings to be involved. So, you’re able to get over the relationship a lot quicker than you would in other instances. And if there were feelings involved, then they weren’t hardcore feelings or you had a really good relationship that was mainly on a friendship level besides for the reason you broke up. That’s good because, in all reality, a good partner is not only your partner, but your friend.

The reason for the break up plays a major role in the whole thing, of course. If it was something such as too much fighting or just a lack of feelings, you might still find yourself as friends later on down the line. Of course, you’re going to avoid each other for a while but, later on down the line, you will find yourselves as friends. The same thing generally goes for the relationships that ended because of one incident (if the relationship was good all except for one bad phone call or something along those lines–the two of you will find yourselves as really good friends later on down the line.

As for the relationships that ended because the other person backstabbed you and betrayed your trust in every way possible, there is almost no chance of a friendship. Okay, let me rephrase that, there is NO-POSSIBLE-CHANCE of ever having friendship. (or maybe there is…)So, for all you people who are waiting for that one ex to give in and be your friend, you might as well give it up because it’s not happening. Another thing that plays a major role is, of course, how deep your anger is for the other person. If you expected it all to happen, then you probably aren’t that angry. If you didn’t really have feelings for the person then your anger is on a very low content level. If you were naive and thought it would never happen to you, then you most likely sit in your room and picture their head mounted on your wall like a trophy. For the relationships that actually do break up on mutual terms (which very rarely happens) you most likely had a friendship beforehand and realized that everything was better that way.

Honestly, if you were friends with someone before and then decided to be a couple, you should’ve talked about the possibilities of what would happen after you broke up. If you and this persons loved each other in the beginning of time as friends, there really should be no problem befriending each other all over again. Main points, try to be friends with someone before you try getting involved into anything else AND if you were friends before and there was a break-up, be the bigger person and talk to this person about returning to your original state of friendship. I think friends rule over lovers, so don’t ever let the whole attraction phase get in the way of what could and was something greater than anything…friendship.


I’ll always love ^you….

[I was watching the Muary show and Dr.Phil all vacation. Thats how i got the whole Friends Vs. Lovers thing. Oh and the thing with going out with your friends ex…..thats gonna be a fun topic but I dont wanna write about it yet….I need some ideas ^_^]

(These are the strongest words in Man’s vocabulary. Use them sparingly….)


Kbarron188 said...

nice blog sabrian:)

lahana said...

Great analysis Sabrina! You really teased out all the variations of how relationships and friendships can play out. I know a lot of people who were "just friends" in high school or college and ended up getting married later on. On the other hand, my wife and I were never friends to begin with but have been together 10 years. I think a lot has to do with the way you were loved as a child...some people are more comfortable with drama than stable relationships. It seems that some people don't even BELIEVE that men and women CAN be friends...

awitherspoon188 said...

yo can you show me how to do that!

tweetylover006 said...

luv the blog sabby..=D