Friday, January 2, 2009

(2009)HAPPY NEW YEAR WISHES/(2008) My Past Year Mistakes

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Its the big 09 now huh? Didnt 2008 pass fast? Makes you really wonder where time goes. What it should make you realize is that time waits for no man. They say when you die, your life flashes before you eyes. That means you should make it worth watching. One of the biggest New Year cliches is to create a resolution. The people that follow their resolutions are worth recognizing but to me resolutions are a big waste of time. I dont make resolutions, I make promises to myself. I know alot of people are gonna think "Well isnt that the same thing?" Let me just tell you now, it isnt. To me resolutions are just something you tell people but promises are something that you have to say and live up to. Resolutions...not much. If you really say the word how its spelled without the made syllables, its RE-Solutions. A solution done again? Well if that solution was all that great why would you do it again? That just seems like youre making a mistake twice without even realizing what your first mistake was. Maybe Im wrong in your thought but thats what I think and really, you cant go wrong being true with yourself. Promises are something that should be done once and proven over a lifetime. Love is a promise and when you think about love, its not something that can just be said and ended. You have to say it, mean it and prove it. A promise. Say it, mean it and prove it. Love yourself, make a promise to yourself. Say it, mean it and prove it to yourself. Forget about everybody else.

Now my promise to myself for 2009 is that Im gonna stop regreting cuz now that I think about it, its better to regret doing something than to regret doing nothing at all. Before my big problem was rejection. I was so scared of being rejected that Id stay so quiet and to myself that Id be invisible but not even to other people, more to myself... Then, after awhile Id stop caring so much that Id hope to be rejected. I figured it would make me stronger. Like jumping into cold water in 15 degree weather. It would make me immune. I thought I could be immune to pain. That was a downfall and I ended being hurt so much because I wouldnt think. The pain was a numbness. If I was numb I wouldnt feel the pain. That was another problem because when I realized that I did care I would feel all the pain of everthing that happened Id go into shock. Then, I would regret everything. I wouldnt forgive, I wouldnt forget. Id mourn and cry and think of regret. Yup. That was 2008. My promise, to just live. Learn from my mistakes, think before I do anything and never reget. Im learning now that pain is not a numbness. Its not something I can be immune from either. Sometimes you just gotta feel it, remember it and move on and thats my plan for 09. Its funny, the whole New Year New Me thing really makes sense to me now. I guess you shouldnt wait for a whole new year to come before you change yourself for the better. If its in the middle of the year, middle of the week, middle of the day at the 15 minutes past the hour and you feel like changing go ahead and do it. The sooner the better.
(I know Happy New Year wishes are supposed to be...well happy and full of cheer and what not but what better way to start the New Year than a good ranting full of honesty. To me thats like starting the day with a good cup of coffee. Yup, even though I dont drink coffee...but whatever)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Hope 09 is full of opportunity and fun!


goldiemary said...

I always say that I come to being an optimist by way of pessimism. That may sound crazy but it's not. Mostly people expect that everything should go great and that's the norm. So if things get rocky, not only do you feel bad, you feel that life is messing you up and leaving everyone else to be "normally" happy. I think the real truth is that life is problematic and when it's just great- that's "abnormal". Those are the times when you're having the different time, if you know what I mean. Early on I decided that I wanted to live my life like a good novel. I quit college and came to New York city without a dime, looking for adventure. I have had great times and I have had awful times, but it has always been compelling.

lahana said...

Bravo. This post is so revealing and thought-provoking. I think for teens especially (but adults too), it's so much easier NOT to put yourself out there...take the easy road and hold back from saying and doing things that pose resistance. Honestly, I don't think that 2008 was too shabby a year for you. I for one find you to be a trailblazer and quite often I*N*S*P*I*R*I*N*G. Here's to the promise of more YOU in 2009 :)