Tuesday, December 16, 2008


What is love? My definition of loving someone is knowing that theyre the one who you can always run to. The arms you can always fall in. The heart beat you can always listen to. The ears that never get tired of listening and the eyes that never get tired of watching. The mouth that never gets tired of talking, the lips that never get tired of kissing. The hand that never gets tired from wiping away tears or the arms that never get tired from holding you back, occasionally pushing you forward or from just holding you. You know that theyd do anything for you and would never do anything to hurt you. The door would be open but theyd never leave, the chair would be right there but they wouldnt sit, the sky could be black and the moon could be out but they wouldnt go to sleep cuz that would mean time away from you. There would always be a way out but who needs to escape from something they want and you know that all they want is to be with you. Theyd be the only one with the power to break your heart but you know that theyd never use it. With great power comes great responsibilty. I think the power to break someones heart is the greatest power ever and if anyone should give you that power please realize that even if you dont want it theyre trusting you with it so dont take advantage of it and watch the things you do and say. Something that seems so little to you could be so amazingly huge to them. Thats the whole reason theyre in love with you, all the little things you did that you didnt even realize you were doing. Now to the people that are in love. Isnt it crazy? Your heart hurts whenever you think of them, you dont want to be away from them and when you are you cant wait to just hear them call your name and grab you up into the arms that youve been longing for since the last time you saw them, which could be an hour earlier. The heart doesnt know time. All it knows is that its always too long to be away from them. Its funny because people always talk about how they gave the object of their affection their heart but when that persons away your heart hurts. Like how is that possible? You have my heart and at the same time youre making it hurt and not even you, just the fact that you're not standing right here next to me at this very moment. Strange. You want to cry when it just doesnt make sense. What are you crying for, youre with them. You belong to them and they belong to you. Both your hearts are cared for by each other. So whats the problem? Fear. Youre scared. Somethings gonna happen and theyre gonna leave you. Youre gonna wake up from this beautiful little dream and realize none of it was real. Theyre gonna find someone better, maybe even your best friend and realize that they never wanted to be with you all along. Then what are you gonna do? You made them your everything and now theyre gone and what do you have left? Nothing. Absolutely nothing except maybe your heart, but what good is it? Its broken. Torn. Ripped. Strangled. Bleeding...scarred. Just so useless. You are supposed to love everyday you live but whats the point of loving with a broken heart? Its like driving with a broken car. You seem to be doing fine but soon enough when you least expect it youre gonna crash and burn and its gonna happen in the middle of no where or even worse in the middle of a busy street where everyone is driving happily and no cars hit you but no one stops to help you either. No one sees you. Youre between dying and death right now cuz you want to die, you know youre gonna die but you dont and that makes everything worse. Now, this is all hypoHYPOthetically. Youre still with this wonderful person but all of this is going through your mind when youre not with them and sometimes even when you are. Why does loveing someone hurt more than being hated? Why does loving someone who loves you back hurt more than loving someone who doesnt? Is it just fear? Maybe its just me. Usually it is. Just me. Just Sabrina...just thinking. Again though, this is all hypothetical. Just another hypothetical thought. Im just the hypothetic realist arent I?


lahana said...

Interesting meditation on love...I know what you mean about love simultaneously feeling energizing and hurting. I think you brought up some good possibilities about why that is. Not to be too morose, but we're all going to die (hopefully not for centuries), so it really is a finite thing we're holding onto. Maybe somewhere deep inside we know it's going to end sometime. But at the same time our mind and body is saying THIS is all we've ever been waiting for. Anyhow, I'm glad you're getting to experience all of's one of life's biggest gifts...

goldiemary said...

I always find your blog seriously interesting!!!